The Athlete Formerly Known As Mark Prior

Mark Prior, I am going to offer you a little advice; the time has come to reinvent yourself.

Rick Ankiel did it. Prince did it. Now it's your turn. Having read that the Cubs are interested in trading you I have no doubt that this would be the best decision for you to make at this point in your career.

Please consider it.

Injuries and bad breaks have derailed a potential Hall of Fame career. Before your injuries you were an enormously talented pitcher. Possessing some of the best stuff, poise and pitching command that I have seen in the modern era of baseball. Unlike Ankiel, your demise was physical and not mental. Now, your team wants to dump you.

Please save face and reinvent yourself. Now is the time to explore a career other than baseball, a career in sports but just not the playing kind, or to show the world you have other talents. Heck, if nothing else maybe you could even try to make a comeback as an outfielder (just don't take HGH).

Or, accept the opportunity to move to a new environment, get healthy again and show the baseball world that you still have it. Either way, it has to be a reinvention.

I'll be there ready to cheer for you when you do land on your feet again. It really kills me to hear that the team that thought you were going to be their own version of Roger Clemens now has to consider shipping you off because it would be a dumb move not to.

Reinvent yourself in some way or another. I'll even help you pick out a weird, unpronounceable symbol that you can change your name to if you wish.

Miami Dolphins' season put into perspective

Everyone seems to be talking about the 9-0 New England Patriots and whether or not they can finish the season 16-0. Yes, it is for good reason and I know to give credit where it is due. No NFL team has went 16-0 in the regular season since the NFL expanded to 16 games in 1978. The Patriots could very well make history this season but their pursuit of the record books comes in a distant second to me. I am more interested in the 0-9 Miami Dolphins and whether or not they can become the first 0-16 team in league history. Now that would be a feat. Seriously, if I was a professional athlete and I had gotten this far I would gladly give up my pride for one season just to be a part of history. Would the shame of going 0-16 really be any worse than the shame of going 1-15 or 2-14?

Striving for futility could backfire though. I know this is not a good analogy but the story about how Robert Ford shot his once friend and idol Jesse James in the back thinking that he would become a celebrated hero comes to mind here. Instead of being labeled as a hero Ford faced backlash, ridicule and was deemed a coward for his actions. Perception can be quite tricky. You finish 0-16 and are part of the worst team in league history but deep down should it really bother you? You are still a winner in life and you are still an athlete making millions of dollars to play a game. Unlike Robert Ford, I don't think going 0-16 would make anyone question your character or courage. It is only a game. Therefore, I encourage the 2007-2008 Miami Dolphins NFL franchise to make history this season. I'll be rooting for you (wait...I mean against you).

Future Star?

Player Evaluation:

Scott Howard; PG, Beacontown High School




Strengths: Extremely athletic point guard who routinely makes highlight plays. Is a fierce competitor and plays the game with an animal-like intensity. Makes the game look easy. Plays with confidence, intensity and showmanship. His athleticism and ball handling ability are jawdropping. Finishes strongly at the rim and will dunk the ball every way imaginable. Possesses superior strength and is unguardable one on one with his power drives to the basket. Simply overpowers his opponents and loves to take the ball to the hole. His first step is lightning fast and he handles the ball like the late Pistol Pete. Stays low with the ball, keeps it close and has blinding speed with the ball in his hands. Has ability to dominate a game and/or take over late when needed.

Weaknesses: Has a tendency to showboat and play selfishly. His attitude and self control are both very much in question. Often plays the game 1 on 5 and neglects his teammates. His physical gifts are so overwhelming that he often tries to do everything by himself. Doesn't understand team concept and needs to work on his complete game as a point guard. Has been known to steal the ball from his own teammates. Is quite a bit undersized for the NBA or college game. Drives the ball at every opportunity and has yet to display much of an outside or mid range shot. Defensively he overplays everything, shoots the passing lanes and is easy to go backdoor on. Has off court problems most notably a bowling alley incident and an incident where he was accused of stealing chickens. Needs to get his off the court issues in check and control his temper.

The Sun Also Sets (and doesn't play D)

Ernest Hemingway's The Sun Also Rises is a novel that gives insight into the lives and values of the generation of people scarred by World War 1. Commonly referred to as the "lost generation".

The "lost generation" could also be used to describe the group of NBA fans who are trying to decide on a team to root for in the aftermath of the great Michael Jeffrey Jordan.

The Phoenix Suns are the team for the casual NBA fan. The fan who lost interest in the NBA post-MJ days. The fan who occasionally decides to catch a game on tv and doesn't have a team that they root for. The type of fan that is drawn in by their uptempto, run and gun, shoot until your arm falls off style. The type of fan that prefers flashy style and flashy offense over defense and great strategy. The type of fan that actually likes to watch All Star games.

I call the Suns the television team. You are flipping through the channels and you stop to watch a few seconds and then you are drawn in by how they shoot the ball 10 seconds into every possession and how they feign playing defense so that they can get the ball back quicker and shoot it again. Television teams are overhyped by the media even though they have never really won anything as far as postseason play is concerned.

How can a team that is so great on offense and that shares the ball so well and runs such a smooth and efficient offense be so terrible on defense? If Steve Nash can make everyone else around him better on the offensive end then how come he can't do it on the other end of the court as well? With the athleticism that their team possesses how come they can't guard anyone? All are mysteries to me.

Yet, I have a gut feeling that the league (via officiating) might try to make their series with the Spurs stretch out longer than it should. An NBA playoffs with the Suns in it will get more viewers. I am not a true NBA conspiracy theorist but I do think the league does take a few subtle approaches to keep the big market and most popular teams in the playoffs at times. We'll just have to wait and see but I would bet on the Suns playoff hopes "setting" in 5 games or less.

Devils and Saints

Apparently Luol Deng's 1 year stay at Duke wasn't long enough for him to assimilate into Duke's culture. Deng was announced as the NBA's sportsmanship award winner today. If he would have stayed at Duke longer he would have absorbed the attributes of all other Duke players. You know, crying after losses, complaining to the refs...elbowing guys named Tyler Hansbrough in the nose because you are losing to their team and they grab an offensive rebound...those kind of things.

The Spurs just made short work of the NBA's hottest team (Nuggets were 9-1 coming into the playoffs). They really are a playoff machine. The Spurs and Suns matchup should make for a really competitive series this time around. Robert Horry is truly amazing. Has anyone hit more clutch shots in their career? Someday his right arm will probably end being in a museum somewhere after it is examined and found to have icewater in the veins. I'm going to say San Antonio wins in 7.

Soriano is starting to earn his money for the Cubs now. Going 6-10 in his last two games with 2 homers. Fellow Cubbie Jason Marquis is proving to be one of the best and cheapest pitching acquisitions of the offseason. Marquis has been money in starting out the season 4-1 with an ERA of 2.09. Things are looking up in Chi-town.

and one more thing...

New England picked up Randy Moss. I think they sent the Raiders a Gatorade cooler


as their part of the deal. Moss will probably catch 70+ passes and the Patriots will probably win the Super Bowl in 08 because that's how Bill Belichick rolls.

Until next time.

Rick Carlisle's a series of unfortunate events

Rick Carlisle, you have my sympathy.




You are a very good basketball coach. Arguably even one of the best in the NBA. Yet, you have been fired from your job twice in the past 5 years.

In 4 season with Indiana you went 181-147 with a winning percentage of .552. Your teams averaged 45 wins and 37 losses. This, by NBA Eastern Conference standards, is very good.

You did not pull the trigger on the trade that sent Al Harrington and Stephen Jackson packing and brought in overpriced duds Mike Dunleavy and Troy Murphy. After the trade your team went 11-22 and missed out on the playoffs. This is not your fault at all. This is what is called management sabotage.

In two seasons at Detroit your teams went 100-64 with a winning percentage of .610. You were then axed and Larry Brown got to come in and coach your team to a championship the next season. I think you would have coached that same team to a championship. Too bad Larry Brown got to come in and steal your glory.

It's not your fault that the melee at the Palace took place, not your fault that your GM pulled the trigger on the worst trade of the NBA season, not your fault that you were canned in Detroit one year removed from winning coach of the year in the NBA.

Rick Carlisle, your coaching career has been a series of unfortunate events. None of which were within your control. I wish you well and hope that in your next NBA coaching job that you actually get a fair shake for a change.

Pre-NBA days

"So you wanna be a rock superstar, and live large
a big house, 5 cars..."
(Cyprus Hill Rock Superstar)

I've always enjoyed reading about the professional basketball leagues that were in existence before the National Basketball Association formed. Primarily the National Basketball League as it was more low key, grittier and made up of smaller city teams.

This was before the days of big arenas, million dollar contracts, worldwide league promotion, product advertising and commercialization.

The teams were owned by corporations such as Firestone and Goodyear but were not promoted or publicized at anything near the level that they are today. Teams were given a small budget in which to work with and professional sports had yet to become the money making business that it is now. Players were given modest salaries and their lives were not exactly lives of luxury and high class.

Players traveled by bus and played in small gymnasiums in smaller U.S cities in much the same fashion that musicians tour in. They would arrive in a city on the day of the game, play the game, then unwind afterwards (i.e. drink, gamble, etc.), go back to the crummy hotel they were staying in and get a little rest before hitting the road the next morning so that they could make their next small city destination later that evening.

These guys were treated somewhat like celebrities but in a much different way than players are today. They were more like a medium level of fame rock group that was touring the country. People came out to see their talents; which were shooting a ball in a basket instead of wailing on a guitar. They entertained people but they were not treated like kings like today's players are. The life of a NBL player wasn't all glamorous and high status. They were playing the game because it is what they loved to do and they enjoyed doing it as a job.

These guys stayed in cheap hotels, probably had to pay for their own food and other expenses on road trips, hung out together after the games and then did it all again the next day. It was an alternative lifestyle. Different than the working 40 hours a week, coming home to wife and kids lifestyle that was prevalent in society back then. This lifestyle probably appealed to many in the same way that the artist/rock star lifestyle appeals to people today. It was different and it was a way of rebelling against the system.

Athletes, back then, were more known for what they did collectively than who they were as individuals. People came to see them because they represented entertainment in the form of people playing a sport really well. They didn’t come to see certain individual players, or even necessarily certain teams, they came out to see a sport and athletic competition at a high level. They came to see a “show”. It could probably be said that professional athletes were "rock stars" before our culture even had rock stars.

Farewell Joey Crawford

NBA referee nazi Joey Crawford you shall be missed...

False!



As if Tim Duncan didn't give me enough reasons already to be at the top of my NBA favorite players list. Now, he has helped rid the NBA of Joey Crawford. Major props to Duncan. You are truly an accomplished athlete and human being. 3 NBA championships, 2 time NBA MVP, 3 time NBA Finals MVP, founder of the Tim Duncan foundation that promotes cancer awareness/research, and now contributing to that scumbag known as Joey Crawford being exiled from the game of basketball.

*by being suspended "indefinitely" I am assuming that this means forever by the way.

Crawford reminded me of the guys that go around writing traffic citations on campus; getting a power trip from their work when in the grand scheme of things their job is pretty insignificant.

Crawford was a shining example of abuse of authority, often trying to upstage the sport.

Fact: Mr. Crawford, no longer free to run up and down the hardwood screwing up major NBA games and drawing attention to yourself, you will now fade into obscurity.

Parros the Barbarian

I'm not a big hockey fan. However, I am a George Parros fan.

I will occasionally catch a hockey game on television if nothing else is on, and I've even been to a few of my University's club team games. I just can't get into it for whatever reason. Maybe it's because I can't skate and I'm jealous of those that can.

One NHL player that I find interesting, though, is George Parros of the Anaheim Ducks.

Parros is a Princeton graduate and his team's "enforcer" (yes, apparently it is actually possible that a tough guy went to Princeton.) Parros has shattered my misconception that all Princeton males are wimpish.

Parros is also in possession of a killer mustache reminiscent of Frank Zappa.

See for yourself:


Parros doesn't score many goals but he does get into a lot of fights. The hockey equivalent of Mark Madsen. A player that doesn't score many baskets but does "hustle".

In other words, both are extremely lucky that they have a job in professional sports.

Stick it to the Man

Last year USA Today published an article stating that fantasy sports leagues cost employers 1.1 billion dollars a week in lost productivity. According to their findings, 37 million people spend an average of 50 minutes a week at work managing their fantasy teams.

Granted, if not spent on fantasy leagues this 50 minutes of weekly non-productive work time would probably be spent spacing out or shopping on Ebay or something else other than actual work. Still, it is pretty awe inspiring and satisfying to be able to say that fantasy sports are solely responsible for 1.1 billion dollars a week not being raked in by greedy corporations.

To each of us that are not rich CEO's or political leaders or other people with power the man is the establishment of power and money that rules over our lives. It can include corporations, the government, the police, etc. It's not so much a person or persons as it is the invisible hand that pulls our strings.

However, you can fight back! You can sign up in a fantasy sports league today. Think of it as enlisting in the army. An army that is geeky, obsessive and anti-establishment though.

If beating your friends in fantasy competition because you obsess over sports statistics and have no life doesn't give you enough satisfaction then just think of your fantasy sports league as a way of sticking it to the man. Because of you some CEO somewhere can't afford that gazillionth vacation home in the Hamptons.

Nothing but love for Love

I watched about 3/4 of the boy's high school Mcdonald's All American game last night.

Getting the chance to see the two potential UK recruits (Jai Lucas and Patrick Patterson) on tv was the main reason I chose to watch a game known for players showing off (their lack of fundamentals for the most part) and for playing parting of the Red Sea defense.

However, I saw one player that really impressed me. Kevin Love.



It's not as if being the nephew of Mike Love of the Beach Boys is cool enough this guy also happens to play basketball like Bill Walton circa 1973. The 6'10 Love from Oregon was constantly ripping the ball off the glass and slingin' outlet passes the length of the court to his teammates.

The outlet pass is an underutilized weapon in basketball today and a thing of beauty. When done correctly there is no more effective way to get 2 points. It would be the equivalent of a football quarterback being allowed to snap the ball while the defense is walking up to the line. It completely takes the opponent off guard and is almost impossible to consistently defend against. It takes players a second to switch over from offensive to defensive mindset and to rip off a rebound and throw it to a teammate streaking down the court before the defense has time to react is almost an automatic 2 points if the guy throwing the ball is accurate.

Love is very accurate.

Love also has many, many more outstanding qualities as a basketball player other than the ability to throw killer outlet passes. The kid is a future star. Plus, he has a an abstract concept for a last name. His game, however, is a lot less open to debate.